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@AudreyJune i agree with you. i am
- someone who has found my only real community online (being queer, socially handicapped, from a bedroom community, )
AND
- someone who frequently posts takes critical of online / offline balance and especially pubsub social media like fedi

this doesn't come from a place of condescension for people who find community online. opposite, it comes from my OWN experience of feeling so fucking lonely and having trad online life only worsen it

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@AudreyJune what ive found for me is that fedi still replicates the pubsub model /corporations/ invented to keep people engaged and addicted without necessarily feeling fulfilled. this has happened to me

i want to find an online life that is fulfilling rather than gratifying, and i have found /some/ ways to do so, and am exploring my way through this with online-critical takes

@cosine @AudreyJune I don't know if my priorities are different, or if I'm just wired different. I don't use masto as my primary social interaction online. Sure it feels good to get a Favorite or the rare boost. But most of my interaction with friends is done through mediums like Slack or Discord. I've got a couple of small communities I hang out in and we just as often leave each other messages as chat directly. That works for me, there's no pull to be engaging here. I can just be myself. YMMV.

@cosine I didn't necessarily mean you must go use Discord. It was an example. I find the chat model works for me, and if you're interested in trying it with your friends there are certainly enough options. Slack, Riot, IRC, some MUDs (just off the top of my head). Obviously you need to do what works for you though. If chat doesn't work, that's fine too. I just figured I'd throw out what works for me on the off chance it might be useful. I hope you find the balance you're looking for.

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