typos, ask if you need clarification

@shoutcacophony

On an adjacent note, I originally planned trying to get a formal diagnosis in hopes of getting support that is more suitable (atm I'm only diagnosed with the resulting depresdion, burnout and anxieties resulting from "passing")

Lately I think that since autism won't ever just go away I'd be rather dumped as a "foul investment". Though the likeliness I'd be able to contribute to capitalism is nigh zero in either case. lol?

@kafkaesqueNomad Right, not unlike when I get pissed off over being the "not fun" kind of mixed-race and start calling myself a mutt, lol

@kafkaesqueNomad i keep running up against a lot of subtle (and sometimes, not subtle at all) "in group/out group" dynamics around not having a formal dx. Which tbh, is sort of disappointing.

Not half as disappointing as the way allistic society treats us, though ;p

@shoutcacophony

I personally don't run into anything, but that's just because I'm at a standstill/recuperating/getting oriented point of my life, the only thing I'm (actively) dealing with are the two people supposed to support me. Person one is openly racist "not racist, but" and person two so extremely ableist I'd in fact like to defenestrate them every damn time, but... i need them to keep my appartment.

@kafkaesqueNomad keeping apartment > defenestration of ableist asshole, no matter how tempting, for sure

@kafkaesqueNomad i'm starting to have similar problems at my place over the past while. i appear to have an alt-right or alt-right leaning (heavily leaning) next door neighbor now, and rent keeps going up.

otoh, i have a stable routine, and moving means a) changing that routine, which would get sorted eventually, but b) ??? in terms of rent increases and/or the apartment being some sort of mess/death trap/something c) relocating and all that comes with that

@shoutcacophony

I just hope you're safe...

@kafkaesqueNomad so far, yes. my main worry (and what i'm watching out for) is things starting to escalate in the building.

there was a stretch where there were actual nazis across the street (transcript: "seig heil!" in unison at random hours for a couple of months or so), which has passed, but the larger pattern is like o.O what.

also, pepe sticker down the road and four blocks over or so, but that was a few months back.

threw the pepe sticker away, done

@kafkaesqueNomad and drunken "white lives matter" BS a few doors down around a year ago. good times

it's going to take a fair amount of that for this block/area to become a sort of frat row, but i'm seeing signs of it, and worse, point being.

i'm working on plans to get out (and accelerating them)

@shoutcacophony

Hope I can at least help financially (a bit) when you need it..

@kafkaesqueNomad I'm doing ok that way, actually. Pass it on to someone in more need :)

Also, just talking about it helps. ty!

@shoutcacophony

^_^ I'm glad.

@shoutcacophony

I had some fun the last time the racist one was here, though. ^,^

Cornered her enough in conversation to make her intensify on her slurs.
Told her a few things about colonialism. Not the obviously racism related parts, but in a way it must have clicked after a while. In a way it was exciting to wait for her reaction. She's practically my training dummy for voicing my opinion. (Not much but it's progress)

@shoutcacophony

...
""not fun" kind"???

@kafkaesqueNomad
sorry, clarification

not fun as in "i unapologetically assert my color rather than half-assedly assimiliating, while mostly fooling nobody tbh"

@shoutcacophony

Thank you...

I would need about three toots just filled with "UUUGGGHHHH" to halfway express what I'm thinking.

@kafkaesqueNomad yup. i left off the *peak bitterness* 😡 *flips tables* descriptors on that

@kafkaesqueNomad suffice it to say, "stay in your cage" comes up, a lot, ugh, indeed

@shoutcacophony

Fuck. I mean... fuck.

@kafkaesqueNomad thanks